Sit down, honey. Let’s talk about it.
Empathy without enabling.
Ever need to talk something through, the possibilities, the problems, the 3am what-ifs, without dragging in the people you love? Not sure who you can trust? Need an honest opinion from someone outside the drama? Sit down, honey. If you need to vent, I’ll cheer you on. If you need to cry, I’ll virtually hold your hand (and pass the tissues). I’ll be the friend who doesn’t judge, and who also tells you the things you don’t like but need to hear. With love. Mostly.
From the chair
Letters from the chair
A few sample letters, written to show the tone of the column. They are not from real readers.
More answers →Dear Sit Down, Honey, My adult kids think I should sell the house. I’m not ready.
Care can sound like pressure. Staying can sound like stubbornness. Let’s honor both.
Read the reply Sample letter Relationships & loveDear Sit Down, Honey, A friendship feels off, and I’m not sure what to say.
Most of us wait too long, then say too much. Here’s a softer place to start.
Read the reply Sample letter Work & everyday dilemmasDear Sit Down, Honey, I’m good at my work, and it doesn’t bring me much joy. Do I stay or go?
Competence is not the same thing as calling. You don’t have to decide your whole life tonight.
Read the replyThe letter box
Write to Sit Down, Honey
Tell me what’s going on, in your own words. I read every letter myself. When I answer yours in the column, names and identifying details come out. Want it just between us? Pull Up a Chair for a private answer.
What you can ask about
The questions I sit with
I don’t claim a specialty, a certificate, or a perfect track record. I do have a long habit of seeing both sides of a dilemma, and a life that sometimes shows up as color — a cozy chair, a cup of tea, a season — not as expertise.
Relationships & love
Friendships that drift, partnerships that pull in two directions, and the moment you’re not sure what to say.
See answersFamily
Adult children, aging parents, holidays, houses, and the love that sometimes arrives as advice you didn’t ask for.
See answersMoney & life decisions
Guilt, generosity, “should I, or shouldn’t I?” — the money questions that are really about values.
See answersWork & everyday dilemmas
Jobs that fit and don’t, hard conversations at work, and the small choices that pile up into a life.
See answersThe signature video
Answers from the chair, not the camera
The Sit Down, Honey vlog is close-framed and anonymous. You’ll hear my voice and see a cup of tea or coffee in a cozy chair — framed from the shoulders down, not my face, and not a tour of a place. Sometimes a cat wanders through. That’s part of the charm. The letter is the point. The chair is just where I sit with it.
You’ll also hear camera-light extras: the question as on-screen text with my voice, short audio-only clips, and the occasional written carousel. The public videos stay anonymous — a mug, a chair, and a voice. I’ll still tell you the truth. That’s on purpose.
Videos from the chair are coming soon.
If you’d rather keep it private
Pull Up a Chair
A written reply just for you, or a conversation. Life-experience advice, not therapy. Details are on the Pull Up a Chair page.
Pull Up a ChairThe person in the chair
About the column
I’m a high-EQ jack-of-all-trades who has lived a while and learned to hold two true things at once. I’ll be kind. I won’t baby you. My last name stays off this site.
More about the column