Work & everyday dilemmas

I’m good at my work, and it doesn’t bring me much joy. Do I stay or go?

Sample letter — not a real reader

The letter

Dear Sit Down, Honey,

I’m good at what I do. People rely on me. It pays the bills. It does not bring me much joy, and I can feel myself going through the motions. I have enough to get by if I made a change, and I also know that “follow your bliss” can be a luxury. I don’t want to throw away something I built just because I’m restless — and I don’t want to spend the next ten years being merely good at it.

— Capable, and tired

Sit Down, Honey’s reply

Dear Capable,

Being good at something is a real gift. It is also, sometimes, a trap. We stay because we are useful, because people would be disappointed, because competence feels safer than a beginner’s life.

Your side that wants to stay is not cowardly. Work that pays the bills, and that other people can count on, is not nothing. Your side that wants to leave is not ungrateful. A life of only being useful is a thin life, and restlessness is often information, not a character flaw.

You don’t have to decide your whole next decade tonight. You do have to stop treating this as a single door marked STAY or GO. What would a small, reversible experiment look like — a day of the week for the work that does pull you, a conversation, a class, a quieter job-search, a timeline of six months instead of a dramatic resignation? If you have enough to get by, you have a little room to be curious without setting the house on fire.

Joy doesn’t have to be the only reason to move. Dread, on a steady simmer, is a reason to look honestly. You can honor the skill you’ve built and still admit it may not be the chair you want to die in.

— Sit Down, Honey

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This is a sample, written to show the tone of the column. It is life-experience advice, not therapy, counseling, or professional legal, tax, or medical guidance.